Monday, October 14, 2013
Monday, September 16, 2013
"When there is gratitude, complaints disappear... When there is complaint in the mind, there is discontent, frustration and depression - all that follows. If you are not grateful... you will find fault. Even if there is none, you will try to see it. Your mind will find it for you.
This is the lower journey. Gratitude is the middle way. And as you rise above that... gratitude flows out from you as grace."
(- from 'Bang on the Door'. Ravi Shankar is founder of the Art of Living Foundation, which aims to relieve individual stress, societal problems, and violence.)
Monday, September 2, 2013
One of the essential lessons I've learned from my life as a writer (and human being too!) is that how I handle my failures and mistakes has a huge impact upon my later successes. If I crumple at the slightest criticism, take it personally, lash out, blame others, I don't take anything useful away from the experience. Which is why I am always open to comments about my writing work. There is a lot of wisdom out there. I am not the font of it! And generally, I find people to be helpful, thoughtful and kind, so why be afraid of feedback? The equation is simple - I want to succeed, therefore I must learn the lessons to do so.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Marriage isn't about having the perfect relationship, it's about choosing to go through your life together, side by side, no matter what happens.
Avoiding Stress & Hassles
Think you can avoid stress, hassles, random accidents? Forget it! Life comes with only one guarantee - it is unpredictable. You cannot make yourself immune by hiding away. But how you handle these unpleasant times is up to you. Make it worse or make it easier, the ball is in your court.
In any relationship there will arise issues that are yours alone - issues from your childhood, previous experiences you may be anxious not to repeat. It doesn't matter how many relationships you have, these issues will keep cropping up until you learn the life lesson you're meant to learn, whether it's about trust, healthy boundaries, saying 'no', keeping calm in a crisis, taming your perfectionist tendencies etc. So blaming your partner isn't going help. And moving on to another partner certainly won't make these personal issues go away either.
There are so many bad influences upon modern marriage, sexual stereotypes in the media being the worst. Our expectations of a partner should not be determined by what some advertiser thinks will sell his/her product, but by what is meaningful to us, as human beings with needs and desires. So resist the influence of the gasping orgasms, trite platitudes and neat, happy endings. Be prepared to write your own relationship, with your own terms. Intimacy is what we all want. We want to feel loved and appreciated, accepted and proud of. No movie can teach you how to accomplish that because what you're experiencing is a day to day journey with a real person, who has their own agenda too. There are many wonderful books available about managing relationships. One of the best is "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
If you get stuck, seeking help from a professional can open doors you thought were shut. It's well worth trying. Confiding in someone outside the relationship, who has an objective view, gives you the freedom to see your partner from a different, more helpful angle.
Spending your life with someone means there will be tough times, when you might feel betrayed, angry or saddened. You may feel that giving up is the only way forward. But you can work through this. Be honest about how you feel and accept your partner's honest feelings as fact too. Flexibility. Sympathy. Patience when you don't understand. Selflessness. These are the keys to a successful marriage, not demanding that your needs be met, like some screaming infant. If you are willing to work at it, the pay-off is a joyful, exciting, comforting and content life together.
Monday, July 1, 2013
|(c) Dawn Meredith|
You're sitting on a comfortable garden seat, with the gentle winter sun streaming through the trees. Breathe deep, releasing tension and worries into the still, cool air. After days of rain, silver droplets cling to every leaf and bud, lining up on the garden furniture. The only sounds are the trills of tiny finches, like gemstones, flashing in the sunlight and the parrots and wattle birds squeaking and rustling in camellia trees behind you. Mr Cat sits on a chair, licking his whiskers and eyeing the dogs imperiously. They lie at your feet, eyes closed, soaking up the sun.
Forget-me-nots and green spotted snowdrops add delicate touches of white and blue to the winter palette – fragile little blooms, yet strong enough to fight winter’s chill.
|(c) Dawn Meredith|
The spring jonquils, in pots on the verandah, are already nodding their golden trumpet heads, reminding us that in a few short months the garden will change yet again.
|(c) Dawn Meredith|
Sunday, May 5, 2013
As 'persistence' it is that tension within us that launches us into nothingness, unknown territory, when it seems likely we will fail in the attempt.
Why? Because stubbornness doesn't give in.
Stubbornness means not giving up, despite solid incentives to do so.
Stubbornness is what we cling to when all we have left is a vague sense of purpose or direction and a ton of fear.
Stubbornness leads to success and achievement.
So be stubborn! Persist.